The Kaden Family

Eulogy by Paul Kaden

A Life

Our family wants to extend our appreciation for your presence and prayers. Dad would be humbled by this. I know he is saying “I can’t believe that so many people took time out of there busy schedules and attended to pay their respects.” He always felt honored and supported by any gesture of kindness and outreach.” That is one of the things that made him so special.

Van Kaden - dad, friend and mentor and my hero. Dad loved life. He never complained and always felt blessed in any circumstance. He loved his family, my mother, his kids, his grandkids, his friends, his church, his colleagues and his community. He was always energetic, enthusiastic, quick witted, quick with a smile, possessed a curious mind and found everything interesting. Even in his later years he would always comment about the weather, the grass, whether or not the pecans were budding. What the crop would be like and so on and so forth. Isn’t this a beautiful day …

He found pleasure and appreciation in what some would consider minor things. I believe his greatest attribute was to always see the positive in everything-- he viewed life from “the cup is half full” perspective. While some would complain or bemoan certain circumstances Dad would always say ”I would never have imagined I could have been so Blessed”

He was interested in everything. When he became interested in Arabian horses he learned the history of the horses the breeding of the horses down to each individual horse on the place. Whether you wanted to hear it or not he would give the full family history of each horse. He did this because he just assumed everybody was as curious as he was about such things. When it came to the topic of pecans it was the same and at grafting time he was fired up because he had an opportunity to use his skills as a surgeon to operate on the trees grafting them carefully so that a better variety of pecans would emerge. The same was true in his profession as a surgeon.

He calling was to help people. What most people don’t realize was dad had entered collage and wanted to serve in the parks and wildlife or game management field. Upon returning from WWII , where he was a B-29 pilot, he had a change of heart felt that for him to best serve his fellowman be could have more impact as a doctor and so he decided on the profession of medicine. He went back to school, took other courses and studied hard. He was accepted into medical school and eventually found his way into a surgical residency under the famed heart doctors-Dr. Cooley and Dr. Debakey. In fact, Dad was selected by Dr. Debakey to be chief resident. This was something he held with astonishment and pride throughout his life. Dad moved to a smaller community for his kids, family and to have an impact on people’s lives. I am glad he did and I hope that you are too.

He believed in working hard at whatever you do and his work ethic ran deep. When I was growing up on Sat. morning s, I, like most kids wanted to sleep late. However, that was not my reality. I would hear Dad come home after making the rounds at the hospital and come down the hall with a pitcher of ice water-singing a tune-“good morning to you” and announce” It is time to get up and get going”. I would stay in bed till the last second as the water would come pouring down on the bed, jumping up and complaining while dad smiled and said we are burning daylight. The point-laziness starts young and let’s get up and make the most of the day. I will forever look back fondly on those times when dad and I spent time together at the farm.

My family didn’t take the usual yearly vacation so it was unusual when I was 15 that Dad took two weeks off from work and we headed north to Canada, driving and sleeping in the camper on an el caminio-about 3.5 feet of space. We traveled through Wyoming and stayed in Jackson Hole where we rafted the Snake River, traveled north to Glacier national park in Montana where we went backpacking above timberline for two days and seeing mountain goats on the rocks above. From there we went on into Canada to Lake Louise and Banff. We came home through Idaho where dad, knowing I read Jack O’Conner books about hunting” found where he lived and waited in the car when I went up and knocked on the door and he invited us in. We headed back through Colorado and New Mexico before returning home. What a trip!

Dad spent time with all of us whether hunting, working on the farm or spending time at our cabin on Club lake. It wasn’t until after collage that I realized that not everybody celebrated Thanksgiving at the deer lease with three or four other families sharing a one room bunkhouse and turkey not venison was the meal of choice-I just assumed this was the norm and not the exception. After mom passed away we didn’t go to the hunting lease but dad and I took numerous trips together. One especially cherished was the time we went to the mountains and took our own horses. We had always talked about going to Colorado with our own horses and so in 1997 we did just that. It was a week I will ever forget. Speaking of horses every year for about nine years we would take a family trip with all the kids, grandkids and family and friend and go to Arkansas on a horse trip just to spend time together, whether riding or sharing stories around the campfire.

Dad and I shared a love a flying. As I mentioned earlier dad was a b-29 pilot during ww11. If you are not familiar with pilots of that era, those were the best of the best. Along with his time under Debakey his time flying B29’s were precious memories for him. Seeing that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, I eventually received my pilots license and subsequently bought a small plane and I too thought of myself as a “hot” pilot. When I would come to town I would buzz the house trying to tear the roof off. This was my way of letting dad know to come pick me up at the local airport. Dad would pull up and commence to say “what the hell were you doing-you are going to kill yourself”, all the while with a smile on his face knowing that he would have done the same if he had been flying in. On one occasion Dad said lets go fly, so we jumped in and took a flight around the Greenville area, On our final approach to land dad said ”let me land it”,---- realizing it had been numerous years, if not decades, since dad had piloted, much less landed an airplane, I was reluctant but relented. He landed the plane perfectly and his face said it all “now that is how you do it” ---the old dog had just schooled the young pup on how to land. I will never forget the smile that stretched from ear to ear on dad’s face and Dad never forgot that plane ride as well. (insert story of why David did not like to fly)

David Karen and I all acquired varies traits from Dad. Karen shared his calling to be a doctor and also serves the community with her skills, David has a passion for hunting and makes his living in the equine business, and I still spend Saturdays working on my own place--- although I sleep in occasionally.

His life reflected his values and his values were those represented by the greatest generation. He saw right versus wrong, you did what you said and a person’s word was their bond. Relativism was not in his vocabulary-truth was. He believed that a person should do the best with the talents that God has given him and whatever one does he should do that with integrity and honesty. It is too bad that these standards are the exception and not the standard today and I hope that I may pass along to my children the values that distinguished dad in my mind.

Reflecting on his attributes and values, one can see a clear path to how he became what he became in life. At an early age he chose to live with his grandparents most of the time. You see they went to church, were devout Christians whereas his parents were not so much. As a young boy of 8 or 10 he would walk to church every Sunday by himself and found the lord at an early age. This impacted the choices and decisions that mapped his life. It dictated his beliefs and directed his decisions. When I was about ten, I remember dad coming to me and giving me a bible and said “when I was your age I would read this each night and you need to do the same”. I always remember Dad reading his bible each night before going to bed. I am thankful he emulated this and instilled this in our family. Some people choose to verbally espouse their beliefs, Dad believed the best testimony was how you lived your life and realized that actions speak louder than words and are much more effective.

Life itself is a privilege! to live life to its fullest is a choice-Dad choose to live life to the fullest and we should each leave here with a renewed sense to do the same.

Although words do poor justice to this snapshot of vignettes of memories, it is difficult to express the impact of his life on us and hopefully you.

As my dad passed from this life to the next, I choose to believe he rode to heaven astride a black Arabian stallion where he slid to a stop at heavens’s gate, jumped off in a new young vigorous body where he was embraced by my mother’s hugs and kisses before turning to face Jesus where Jesus said “Welcome home Van we have a place saved for you” well done my good and faithful servant”.

No man is perfect, but my dad was perfect for me!!

Again, Our family thanks you for honoring dad with your presence and appreciate your kindness and support.

Paul